bummer

it bums me out that barely anyone gets me. i think i'm just one misconception after another. i haven't been anywhere outside of everyday errands in three weeks. i wish i had someone that even gave a shit specifically about me. and not just when i remind them of how lonely i feel.

i hate being "that party girl" or a girl that someone heard a story about. anyone that really knows me knows how delicate and sensitive i am. i'm not just some girl drinking her way through her early adult years. i just want to fit in like everyone else. but it's hard to fit in when no one will even give you a chance to identify with them.

and what annoys me the most is that people still associate me with fuckin morons who i'm not friends with. AKA girls that wanna be down with everyone. fuck that i don't give a shit. i just want people to know i'm a nice person and i like wearing booty shorts cuz i'm anna and thats how i've always rolled. initially you'd think i care a lot if i'm going out of my way to cake on make up and wear cut up motley crue shirts... but honestly i know guys don't find that attractive. or any guys i'd like atleast. people need to get clues... i'm not as ignorant as i appear to be. feel like a walking cheap tabloid. gah-ross.

anyways, over the last few months i've been working on developing a good relationship with my grandparents because i loved, admire, and respect them so much. my little brother is my best friend in the world. i always wondered what it was like to be really close to a sibling... and my love for daniel is like a love for a child if i ever have one. i would die for him. i sacrifice for him. i am the least selfish when it comes to him. he is such an important part to my life.

haven't been to atlanta in 3 weeks cause of a cold outside of shopping trips and seeing jenn. it's been a blessing in disguise.... even though kennesaw if filled with ignorant hicks, i don't mind it as much as the elitist grown ass fucks that play the "who's more important" game. or wondering if the people i'm hanging out with want me for a ride or some bullshit. getting to hang out with PEOPLE THAT MATTER, listening to music on my own terms, and being able to tolerate my surroundings because i'm not surrounded by a bunch of drunk idiot bitches really puts perspective on things.

i'm not wasting one more minute of my time around people who just want to judge me and make assumptions. or use me. or be a shitty ass two faced friend who i have nothing in common with. i'm just so over that shit.

people are so retarded. and judgmental. because i forgive people all the time, and i see their hurt. so i dont feel the need to insult. it's just so much harder when you have to decide if those are the people you want to surround yourself with. what the fuck is a friend these days anyhow?


all i want is for april 23rd to be here. so happy about it.


anna